I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
