How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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