whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Is this like a preordered booty call?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
