that's an acceptable place to lick
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
