It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Let's get the cat blown out
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
