i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
