and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
