so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
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I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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