I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
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