Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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