I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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