I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
