So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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