Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Girls should come with a carfax report
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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