I just saw a hot homeless man
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
