brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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