So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
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