Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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