he puts the penis in happiness.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
