Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Dignity is for republicans.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
