So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize