Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
