Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
That was before I lit my hair on fire
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
