Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize