Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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