NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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