it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
