Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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