Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
You've changed since you got that strap on
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
