Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
