is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
