...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Randomize
