We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
