I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
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