I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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