I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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