ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
