i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
