Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
