The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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