i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
