dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
