This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
