I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize