just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
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