I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
