I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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