It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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