i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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