I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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