Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
