All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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