her vagina looked like bernie madoff
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
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