I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
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Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
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Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
So apparently I’m into choking now
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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