Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
