What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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