You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
