He is an equal opportunity slut.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Floor bacon is actually really good
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
