You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
She bit a glass in half.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
