just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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