So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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