i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
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her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
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I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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