best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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