We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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