all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize